I have a dream!

No seriously, I have a dream. Like any other individual on this planet, I have dreams. And just like some individuals I also have aspirations, and a drive to accomplish the goals I’ve set out for myself. But it hasn’t always been like this.

I spent my teenage years not really knowing what I wanted to do with my life and to be honest, I don’t think you’re supposed to at that age. I feel like at that age you’re still learning about yourself, what you like, what you don’t like. It’s a period in life where you can have fun and get yourself into trouble for doing stupid things, but the repercussions are minimal (depending on what you do) and you can learn from the experience.

Well I grew up in a Nigerian household, so there was really no room for that at all! I had the know what I wanted to do in life from a young age, but thing is, I had no idea! So I just said what I knew my parents and people around me would want to hear. I wanted to be a Doctor. That “dream” didn’t last long.

I failed my Science SATs exam in Year 9 because I just couldn’t be bothered to revise and as a result I was placed in set 7 in years 10-11 when I was taking my GCSEs. There were 9 sets in total, and I was 2 sets away from bottom set. Yeah.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I wasn’t smart, I was in set 3 for pretty much everything else. I even got an A in GCSE Maths! But isn’t it funny that the one subject that I really needed to do well in was the subject I failed woefully?

I managed to turn it around and finished with a B overall in my Science GCSE which wasn’t bad, it was the highest grade in my class and I worked really hard for it. But my so-called dream of becoming a doctor was dashed away because I needed a double Science GCSE not a single one. (if you’re not from the UK, you probably have no idea what any of these terms mean and I apologise. In short, I didn’t fulfil the requirements needed)

So anyway, I’m 15 years old and applying to my local 6th form college. I’m invited to an interview and I’m sitting there with my mum while this guy is explaining to me why I can’t be on the biology and chemistry courses for my A Levels, and once again I’m forced to pick a career path.

At this point I had already realised that I couldn’t be a doctor, so I had to pick the “next best thing” which was to become a pharmacist. When I got to the interview, the interviewer basically said I couldn’t become a pharmacist, but I could become a pharmacy technician if I took a BTEC course, so I did.

Fast forward 2 years and I’m having huge doubts about whether I want to follow through with any of this, but I’m too scared to tell my parents. None the less, I muster up the courage to tell them that I don’t want to be a pharmacy technician or a pharmacist, but I needed something to replace it with, so I gave them a half baked explanation and told them that I wanted to become an accountant. By now you’ve probably clocked on to the fact that I wasn’t a very serious individual in my teenage years. It gets worse.

I get into university, a really good university, and I’m studying for an accounting degree. But it didn’t go so well and I quickly realised that I’d made a terrible mistake and had rushed into making a decision concerning my future without really having all the facts. But I had to push on and finish my degree because everyone was expecting just that.

I suffered from bouts of depression, not really knowing why at the time. But as I look back, I realised that I wasn’t supposed to be there, and I knew it! But I couldn’t tell anyone else because they just wouldn’t understand. University wasn’t for me, and neither was the path I was on. I was meant to be using that time to lay down some foundations and build a platform for myself to do what I really wanted to do, but at the same time, I’m glad I went through that experience because it shaped me into who I am today, it’s part of me now.

Fast forward a few years and it’s graduation day, I finally made it! It’s also my birthday as well! So double the celebrations, right? Nope. It was actually pretty anticlimactic. I travelled up on my own the day before to pack the rest of my stuff from my accommodation, went to graduation and drove back down to Essex with my parents and my sister. Oh, and we stopped for KFC at a service station.

When I look back and wonder how it was possible that nothing seemed to interest me career wise, I notice that one thing stayed constant throughout, and that was music. In secondary school I used to rap and was always writing lyrics in science lesson (Coincidence?). In 6th form, I started making beats on Fruity Loops. Nothing special, it was always just drum patterns. In university, I bought a midi keyboard and a microphone and started producing music that I would then write to and record vocals over.

Along the way, my interest in a traditional career path gradually drifted away and my interest in more creative projects grew stronger, and music was at the centre of all of it. I started a podcast, I started a YouTube channel, I’m still making music (Although nothings been released) and I have some other things I want to get into as I continue my journey in life.

I’m still not 100% sure what I’m supposed to do in life, but I know I’m on the right path, it feels right and I have the drive and the passion to really pursue it now.

If you’ve managed to last this long and get this far, here’s your reward. I’m almost done now! LOL.

I’ve got some big plans lined up for this site, and it’s central to all my endeavours so it’s the best place to look if you want to know what I’m up to. Stick around, you’ll enjoy it.